Portraiture isn’t my main source of income  weddings are. I do portraiture because I love it. I do portraiture because I have time to be creative to think things through. I do portraiture to get better at my craft. I do portraiture because I never know what the experience is going to bring to tangible fruition. The images usually will surprise me. I am clear there is a large mystery to the process of portraiture and that has very much to do with the soul that is encased in the body I happen to be photographing. I am a believer that we carry around a soul and a personality very much inmeshes with an ego. It is amazing to observe who comes to the front for the camera. The only people that this rule doesn’t apply to are babies. It is my experience that once there is a self consciousness, then, the self doubt, the editing of one’s authentic self begins to happen. I have never photographed a person who was not somehow affected by their own personality. Ego, personality, self-doubt is a part of me and all around me in the humans I observe. My job, as a photographer, is to get all aspects of my shoots ready for the soul to show. Hair, makeup, clothes, light, camera settings, background, props then I wait for them sometimes it’s a long wait sometimes a short one, but inevitably they show up, my job is to see it and capture it. It’s like catching hummingbirds with a net. I have no judgment about who they are I feel so lucky when I have captured them, it’s really hard, but fun and really satisfying.

People try to be what they think I want. I want to see them; most don’t know who they are yet so it becomes a part of the process them hiding, me waiting.

As a model in NY , SF and Paris as an agent in SF as a photographer traveling Northern California I have come to understand I have a passion for being with young people and sharing with them what I know about many subjects. I am comfortable with them inside and outside my house. It helps I have many children and like them.

There really is no more of a gratifying experience;  photographing a young person who has never been in front of a camera professionally before is golden. I was a fashion model maker in SF and I loved model development. The people I shoot today are going off to careers in other fields, but I have never seen why not share what I know about fashion and photography and make up and styling and energy and how the camera sees the truth of emotion. The product usually brings surprise to them. They have never seen themselves that way before. 9 times out of 10 they tell me it’s a confidence booster. They leave feeling good about themselves. I love that part.

Last night’s shoot.

That Hair

Movement

The meadow with snow

one of my favorites

A really cold day

She plays the violin

Lights and Darks

against the wall

A Happy look

She left in her junior year to live in Switzerland, forgoing the normal school functions, prom, senior trips, dances, graduation. While she was there she finished high school. She’s in JC now and only 17. She played woman’s soccer while she was there, worked as an Au pair for my cousin and was able to travel to Germany and France. I don’t believe in 11th and 12th grade or 4 year colleges for 18 year old kids (unless it’s a full ride or their parents have that much money to throw down) or the SATs. It’s been my experience that 11^th and 12^th grades for 65% of the high school population is an education in partying and procreation. We don’t have Ivy League money and our local school isn’t producing many scholars for full ride academic scholarships, so our college path differs a bit. It’s a fast track through the 11th and 12th grade with our local charter school then straight to the local JC while living at home and then leave home at 19 with an AA and a plan for a BA through grants and scholarships. No loans, no credit cards, modern day slavery we think. I am not saying it’s the right way I am saying it’s our way and it makes the most sense for our finances and geographic.

Last night she went to a dance with a friend and I did her makeup and we decided to pull off her senior portrait pictures her way. She said it was way more fun than the dance. I love that! We still have great fun together and I love teaching her how to do make up although her career of choice is RN.

it reminds me of a 1982 Vogue Cover Shoot

with her girl

very late 70s

Her eyes

O la la la

Kimmy is  a senior this year  and came to me for her portraits. She is a major athlete and music lover. 

grass shadows accross her face

I thought this would be good for her first CD cover

We live in a remote area of California. We came here from the Bay Area 16 years ago, exactly, to be a tighter family and work together as a family to manage a small Inn. A lifetime later I find myself waking to a sunbeam through my window. As I rise I feel golden filtered light cascade through the windows to touch my body. I gaze out to the same view I have seen for years except everyday a bit different. This morning the mists are up, nothing between my porch and eternity. Out across the tall dried grasses marking the beginning of fall are the mists, reminiscent of the moors of Ireland. As they rise they make way for the view of the top of our Lake Almanor, the marshy area where wild things grow and then it begins. Boom Boom…Boom ….Boom Boom Boom, shot guns sound off, duck hunters first light.  I make my coffee to this view and sound. Thinking of my journey from San Francisco to this remote and cold place and I think, I am so lucky and I never want to move away from this view or Lilly’s ashes.

So they come to me or I go to them. For high school senior portraiture they come to my studio, for weddings I go to them. This is a session I shot last night with a beautiful senior inside and out. I am sure I say this all the time, but portraiture is so special to me. I get to spend 2 hours getting to know the essence someone. It is 99% of the time a spiritual growth experience for me to get to document their moment of the in-between, just before they go off into the world and they know they are going. Photographs to mark the beginning of this journey of the evolution of their being.  Big stuff for them for me.

back light

Id kill for this skin

What a smile

Studio

All there

Happy

The meadow

Lovely

I have known Ty just about his whole life!! It’s been my pleasure. I love this kid.

All there

A boy and his dog

a boy and his girl

A cold day

The studio

My favorite

Kim you kill me

His way

I met Monica when she was 5 another of Livs great freinds and I feel so honored to get to see her all grown up be a little part of her teenage life. She is a joy to be around.

The Wall

Simple make up

an odd angle but we like it

Int he party Frock

Sun going down

Sittin in the Mud.

A little Bella

Twilight Light

The Meadow

The Meadow

In the Mirror

Brandis tonight…..more to come.

On the Meadow

For a run

Fall on the meadow dusk

up close

Just Moving

I spotted her a few moments after we had arrived. It wasn’t hard to miss her, she was a tiny thing, toe head, huge green eyes, heart shaped face, full pouty lips and quiet. She just sat there, holding her daddy’s hand. All the other 5 year olds were antsy and spooked. It was shots day prior to the first day of school for the Kinder-gardeners at Chester Elementary School. Liv and I stood in the office behind a line of  parents and their offspring, waiting. Behind the door came shrieks. The child closest to the door tried in vein to get his mother to turn around and march them out. “Please mommy. No I don’t want a shot. I don’t need a shot. I DON”T WANT IT!” He continued to vigorously protest as a crying child was let out of the room and his own  mother began to  drag him in. Miss green eyes, still quiet, was next.

This was my 3rd time around I would have 2 more to go and I was pretty upset by this scene myself. We had not done vaccinations this way before. We usually just went to the Dr. But our insurance sucked and I was told by other parents this was a great thing our county health was providing. I believe in vaccinations but I don’t believe in torch-er and this scene was torch-er. Olivia knew what was coming and she squeezed my hand and poked me” Come mew mommy. Mommy is it going huet willy bad?” She stood on her tip toes while she whispered this to me. I leaned down and whispered back “Not too bad if you don’t tighten up and fight. Just breath and don’t fight it.” I told her, as I  squeezed her hand. I was pissed about torturing my own kid with the screams coming out of that room. What idiot decided to have all these kids lined up right behind the door? How come they didn’t put them in the gym and have a liaison come and get each child while the crying one was being ushered out a different door? Stupid and I fell for it. The only consolation was we were behind miss quiet big green eyes. Out came the very upset little boy yelling “It did to hurt. It did! ” He bellowed and choked through crying hiccups. Oh, this is just great I’m thinking, Liv is fidgeting and the quiet one is being led in by her dad. Still quiet, still no protest. Liv got really close to the door to hear her reaction. Still silence. A few moments passed and she walked quietly out. No tears, but her dad sure looked proud.

That little girl became Liv’s best friend, that man, our family doctor and friend. The beautiful little girl grew up and she came to my studio yesterday to have me take her senior portraits. She couldn’t wear shoes because she tore her toe nail off in a soccer match on Saturday. She is a bad ass black diamond skier and a fierce soccer player. She has a mind of her own and she really didn’t care for the clean little pony tail I gave her. She wanted her hair wild and her eyeliner black, but she let me have my way, then I let her have hers.

Kim I look like a bald man

She protested way more about her hair than she did about the shot!! HA.

The Mirror

I see in her a lot of her mom, her dad, her grandma, her brother and her sister but she really is all herself.

There now the hair my way.

She's laughing at me.

A little Julie Christie ish..She says WHO?

Dang cold on the meadow

pensive

I don't like that one Kim.

Hair and Makeup her way

My way

Her way

I love portraiture; I am passionate about it. I don’t like the cheesiness in the commercial portrait industry. Trying to pull off something that feels phony. The boys and girls that come to me to have their portrait taken are looking for a creative experience, something very special and that’s what I give them, but it is also collaborative. They have work with me, they have to be brave and even if they are shy they have learn to trust me a little. These are my senior portrait clients the leaders, the ones who march to their own drum who are willing to take a risk of the sprit. I love these kids before they even show up because I know the kind of courage it takes to REALLY sit for a portrait and I admire it in them.

I don’t really like trying to sell myself over the phone. Sometimes people call me to get a quote for a quick  photo for a cheap price. When I figure out  that they are looking for the cheese I just lead them somewhere else.  For the boring cheesy  snapshot they could easily go to the Portrait Studio at Sears.  But if they are looking for something special and if they are willing to collaborate then we have a deal.

Nathaniel is one courageous young man he let me take his portrait. He is truly a fine young man in all respects.

This one is our rendition Of Brigitt Lancombe’s portrait of Teddy Kennedy for time Magazine. We got close.

He golfs

Cloud watching

Will sit among the sunflowers

will hold up the moon

Won't look away

Relaxed

A portraite of a personality

I love shooting Senior Portraits. I love the creativity, doing the make-up,  styling, coming up  with ideas, playing with the light, but the best part is getting to know my subjects. I really enjoyed my time with Abbey. She is a stunning girl and a darn good soccer player.

in the cosmos

Ab

The Meadow

Lovely

White Shirt