At the Saramonte shopping mall in 1970 there was a toy store, I can’t remember the name, it was situated in the Southern Wing of the mall on the western wall. The first time I saw them I must have been 6. There was a wall full of dolls. Collector’s editions as I know it today. Then all I desired was to hold one. To dress her put jewelry on her. I love the ball gowns all indicative of the confederate south. It’s no coincidence why I love, Gone with the Wind, Hello Dolly, My Fair Lady and many more. I am mad about beautiful clothes. Costumes if you will.  I spent many hours of my early childhood standing in front of that glass staring at those dolls. The one I wanted was a doll in a huge wedding ball gown. There were many reasons I didn’t have a doll collection, the first being I didn’t know how to take care of it. Somehow I have satisfied my need to play dress up with myself, my daughters and the brave girls that model for me for the sake of making a pretty picture. I have wondered for sometime my attraction to the fashionably feminine and beautiful. I am not gay; sometimes I wish I were, husbands are hard. I remember my mom telling me once the males of all species were more beautiful than the females, that was at an age when I was apt to believe anything she said. I knew that her statement was false. That was just impossible. I wanted to remind her of the fat bald smelly 50 year old man we walked past. I was also most grateful to my creator for making me a girl. I recall feeling like my creator got my costume just right, I felt so lucky to be a girl.

I caught a picture while I was gone. I didn’t plan it. It was a moment. Mia seeing for the first time what was inside her grandmother’s class case. Then it all came together. My attraction is a simple as hers. PRETTY. I like pretty things, among other things.

Her First Look

Let me in

 I also have a knack for making people feel prettier than they have ever felt. A letter from a recent shoot.

Hey Kim! Just wanted to say thanks for EVERYTHING. I absolutely love my pictures. I’ve never seen myself in that kind of picture before..its weird. But you made me feel so pretty and confident. The pictures are perfect- love the processing! It was fun chatting with you bout your life as a model..I gotta hand it to you..you’re a strong woman. Gosh I have a new respect for models..they go through a lot. But anyways, thanks for taking the time out of your crazy schedule, not to mention being a mom of five kids, and make my senior pics an amazing experience. Oh and thanks for the make up tips. Well, hopefully I’ll see you sometime soon!
          Kelsey

And now, some of the pictures I took of  the amazing beautiful young woman that were gracious enough to let me photograph them.

Sarah and Grace

All there

A FriesianRush Ranch

Last Light

Top of the Bay

It began a few weeks ago with a dry horsey echoing from above our room. I knew it sounded bad the sound of lungs being ripped apart. I have known the sound of that pain, I have felt that pain. When Tristan woke up in the morning he said his lungs hurt. I believed him and so began a few weeks of what two doctors believe to be the H1n1  for  Olivia,  Jane and Tristan, although they were not tested it seems to be the only Flu curculating at this point. So began the 4 squares a day and dishes galore. The dish washer broke at the same time. I would make breakfast give them expectorant, Tamiflu, vitamins,  make tea,  go to the studio and edit for 2 hours, then back in the house to do it again and so on. This lasted for 9 days. It was a really long process and a storm moved in and the rains began on the parched meadow. It felt as if it were dark for a week. I began to feel tired and hungry and out of balance from a kidney infection myself. It had been days of BLAH. Today Jane woke up with a cough again. A secondary infection has moved in and I am back on intense watch. I am on the lookout for any slight alterations in behavior, fever, color of her skin. I know she has an infection our family Doc came over and listened to her lungs and no pneumonia is present at this point and we have antibiotics on hand waiting to see which corner she turns. Not fun and as a mom I worry.

I am also in between a big move. I am moving to MAC book pro and then this spring to a BIG MAC because I am way over sucky computers with sucky issues. I have 3 PCs that all suck on some level.  If want to play in the big leagues I have to have tools that support that. I have amazing cameras and now I need amazing work flow tools. I am not having much fun though.

To keep my spirits up I have been walking in the meadow and I have been painting again and it is what it is but I am very rusty and am doing many warm up exercises. I asked Liv what she thought about a couple of my pieces and she said “Well you used to be much better, but remember practice makes perfect Mommy, at least that’s what you have always told us”. I am going through the motions, but I really love the process. I have not painted a thing I feel excited about, but I feel excited I am painting. This is a change. I have neglected my need to nurture my artist with expectations that everything I create has to be sales worthy. Sometimes creating for me just needs to be a process of engaging with my creative side. This was a busy year for me and I let my self-care go and I let my work get way out of balance. So now I am trying to stay committed to keeping my brush wet even if it is crap I am painting.

Here are some of the images  I shot while the kids were sick. I  walked the dogs on the meadow a few times this week and they are always fun for me to shoot.  Life in the sick James house on the meadow in the Chester Lake Almanor basin is what I am calling this body of work.

cooking for sick kids, but they think its for them

This is what it looks like when I am cooking

Argus and dead yarrow

Kira shapera at sunset

So regal

Cows just off our fence at moonrise

waiting

she wants to be first

I am taking off for SF to take Jane to AT &T park to see IL TROVATORE by Verdi it will be similcast through from the San Francisoco opera house. Once again, her room is trashed and I  am thinking I don’t want to reward the bad habits, but she needs opera and just doesn’t know it. So do I.

This week marks 19 years of marriage. It was a back yard BBQ, Pot luck, with good friends, family, fashion models, agents, stylists, world class photographers, famous actors (now), with the best of SF house music underground DJ and a 3rd of the Castro. OK a 20th. It was wild!  WILD and so fun! The image is a REAL poloraid one of eight Dan Garcia took for our wedding that day. Man they are still timeless.

sept 15 1990 photo: Dan Garcia

…13 years old for our MISS Jane . It’s a big week around here.

 I took some photos of Rudy our friends gorgeous lab last week.

Hansom

Eggs Now Please

water dog

I love this time we get on the River.  For 33 years, most summers I have gone to this place, always with family or extended family. I threaten to write a Stand by Me ish novel about my youth here…I suppose not while we are all still breathing. It was so very wild as a child, but the years coming as an adult have been calm for the most part. This place I dream of and the waters actually make me feel renewed. My children love no other place better. I have only brought one love here and that is my husband Ian when we were dating back in 1988. We went in March when it snowed and the apple tree had blossoms on it.

This place is remote as remote gets and A L L provisions, including water, have to be  hauled in. It took 7 weeks to pack and 3 days to unpack. We brought home a scorpion. Liv got a super bad sting on her bum, just after I finished her make-up of the fairy shoot, and I think it was a scorpion as well. I have never seen a bee sting so big and painful and last so long. She was such a brave champ and let me finish the shoot. 7 images only, but we will remember them as the bad sting.

Ian and I ate like it was our job and we brought home extra weight to prove. Back home to protein drinks. BLEK. Jane, Tristan and my nephew Jake swam all day everyday. Most days the swimming holes were all ours. Lots of growers there now and cell service, first time ever, now if there is a rattlesnake bite we can call for our own helicopter with a hospital about an hour and half away by car.

My mom camped with us and it was really nice to have her. Micheal met us there and my sister and her family camped just down the road. Ryon didn’t come and he was missed.

I read the book THE HELP, first time I’ve read for sport in 2 years and I loved it. It was  brilliantly written and I only wish I could write like this women. Ian read The Shack, which he says has forever changed the way he looks at life, religion and God.

It was a real nice, slow, quiet, very healing and so green of a camping trip. I loved it. It was worth all the work. And now for the pictures.

Ians Blueberry pancakes...Thinking of John

A happy man

River Watching on the Trinity

Watching me watching him

Two of my favorite creatures

Lovin the River missing Ryon