I am heading out to the Bay Area for a few model test shoots this week and a couple of paid bookings. I love shooting new things new people in new places. I am never sure what I will get so I look at it as a treasure hunt and I may come home empty handed. But, for sure, everytime I venture out I learn something new. Here is one of my most favorite fashion photography rep sites. http://www.jedroot.com/.  Look for updates in a week or so.

Portraiture isn’t my main source of income  weddings are. I do portraiture because I love it. I do portraiture because I have time to be creative to think things through. I do portraiture to get better at my craft. I do portraiture because I never know what the experience is going to bring to tangible fruition. The images usually will surprise me. I am clear there is a large mystery to the process of portraiture and that has very much to do with the soul that is encased in the body I happen to be photographing. I am a believer that we carry around a soul and a personality very much inmeshes with an ego. It is amazing to observe who comes to the front for the camera. The only people that this rule doesn’t apply to are babies. It is my experience that once there is a self consciousness, then, the self doubt, the editing of one’s authentic self begins to happen. I have never photographed a person who was not somehow affected by their own personality. Ego, personality, self-doubt is a part of me and all around me in the humans I observe. My job, as a photographer, is to get all aspects of my shoots ready for the soul to show. Hair, makeup, clothes, light, camera settings, background, props then I wait for them sometimes it’s a long wait sometimes a short one, but inevitably they show up, my job is to see it and capture it. It’s like catching hummingbirds with a net. I have no judgment about who they are I feel so lucky when I have captured them, it’s really hard, but fun and really satisfying.

People try to be what they think I want. I want to see them; most don’t know who they are yet so it becomes a part of the process them hiding, me waiting.

As a model in NY , SF and Paris as an agent in SF as a photographer traveling Northern California I have come to understand I have a passion for being with young people and sharing with them what I know about many subjects. I am comfortable with them inside and outside my house. It helps I have many children and like them.

There really is no more of a gratifying experience;  photographing a young person who has never been in front of a camera professionally before is golden. I was a fashion model maker in SF and I loved model development. The people I shoot today are going off to careers in other fields, but I have never seen why not share what I know about fashion and photography and make up and styling and energy and how the camera sees the truth of emotion. The product usually brings surprise to them. They have never seen themselves that way before. 9 times out of 10 they tell me it’s a confidence booster. They leave feeling good about themselves. I love that part.

Last night’s shoot.

That Hair

Movement

The meadow with snow

one of my favorites

A really cold day

She plays the violin

Lights and Darks

against the wall

A Happy look

She left in her junior year to live in Switzerland, forgoing the normal school functions, prom, senior trips, dances, graduation. While she was there she finished high school. She’s in JC now and only 17. She played woman’s soccer while she was there, worked as an Au pair for my cousin and was able to travel to Germany and France. I don’t believe in 11th and 12th grade or 4 year colleges for 18 year old kids (unless it’s a full ride or their parents have that much money to throw down) or the SATs. It’s been my experience that 11^th and 12^th grades for 65% of the high school population is an education in partying and procreation. We don’t have Ivy League money and our local school isn’t producing many scholars for full ride academic scholarships, so our college path differs a bit. It’s a fast track through the 11th and 12th grade with our local charter school then straight to the local JC while living at home and then leave home at 19 with an AA and a plan for a BA through grants and scholarships. No loans, no credit cards, modern day slavery we think. I am not saying it’s the right way I am saying it’s our way and it makes the most sense for our finances and geographic.

Last night she went to a dance with a friend and I did her makeup and we decided to pull off her senior portrait pictures her way. She said it was way more fun than the dance. I love that! We still have great fun together and I love teaching her how to do make up although her career of choice is RN.

it reminds me of a 1982 Vogue Cover Shoot

with her girl

very late 70s

Her eyes

O la la la

Kimmy is  a senior this year  and came to me for her portraits. She is a major athlete and music lover. 

grass shadows accross her face

I thought this would be good for her first CD cover

The first time I met her, she held the door open for me, beaming. I saw her take a double take, most people do with me. When done up, I don’t usually look in my 40 with a boat load of kids that all emerged from my womb. I am sure she was checking to see if the story meets the cover. Her energy was like a spring morning, except the light came from her huge almond shaped eyes and that smile. I can’t say I have ever seen a friendlier and more welcoming face be as physically beautiful at the same time. I have discovered from years in the fashion industry that pretty people don’t have to work as hard. She wasn’t working hard; I knew in that moment, she is an anomaly.

That night we spent some time talking and exchanging a little of our lives and I decided I wanted to be friends with her. I choose a friend like I have chosen lovers usually an instant attraction and then a long courtship. I am a loyal long term friend. When I choose it is a big commitment for me and being a creative I like isolating. I am picky, I have to be.

What happened next was a plotting to keep her here. She had just started dating the man I started working for. She was up in our little slice of Alaska, very much like the Men in Trees series that ran on ABC awhile back. She is a working screenplay writer from LA and I knew that if she wasn’t head over heels for this guy and they weren’t headed on the path for the family way that it wasn’t the geography that was going to keep her here. This place is very lonely and secluded in the winters. In Lake Almanor people really have to want to be here. Living here is far from a relationship of convenience. It is hard and rich.

 As I spent time with them both I knew they were a family waiting to happen. Her beau, my boss, a good looking strong fierce caretaker of a man. He would make sure no one messed with his princess and she was free to be her creative wonderful self. Most men try to harness that energy. He was happy to be near it. I was certain this was a sacred match, so began my meddling and plotting of the hurry up to get them married and make a family already. We are burning day light here. Besides I don’t want to be stuck here without a creative companion. Yes I had selfish motives. I gave her my fertility goddess to hang in the house before they were even engaged. It was laughable, but I had 6 babies, so maybe it was the goddess I had in my house. I like to say I did it, but I can say between me and this baby’s Yaya that we both knew way before anyone else SHE (see cutest 2 month old baby below) was supposed to be here and they were the vehicle. They took their damn time, but she’s finally here and she’s even better than I predicted. I see an absolute equal slice of both of them and then her authentic sweet self.  Perfection. Every time I see her I get happy. Our whole family loves this baby and her parents aren’t so bad themselves….

HI

It began a few weeks ago with a dry horsey echoing from above our room. I knew it sounded bad the sound of lungs being ripped apart. I have known the sound of that pain, I have felt that pain. When Tristan woke up in the morning he said his lungs hurt. I believed him and so began a few weeks of what two doctors believe to be the H1n1  for  Olivia,  Jane and Tristan, although they were not tested it seems to be the only Flu curculating at this point. So began the 4 squares a day and dishes galore. The dish washer broke at the same time. I would make breakfast give them expectorant, Tamiflu, vitamins,  make tea,  go to the studio and edit for 2 hours, then back in the house to do it again and so on. This lasted for 9 days. It was a really long process and a storm moved in and the rains began on the parched meadow. It felt as if it were dark for a week. I began to feel tired and hungry and out of balance from a kidney infection myself. It had been days of BLAH. Today Jane woke up with a cough again. A secondary infection has moved in and I am back on intense watch. I am on the lookout for any slight alterations in behavior, fever, color of her skin. I know she has an infection our family Doc came over and listened to her lungs and no pneumonia is present at this point and we have antibiotics on hand waiting to see which corner she turns. Not fun and as a mom I worry.

I am also in between a big move. I am moving to MAC book pro and then this spring to a BIG MAC because I am way over sucky computers with sucky issues. I have 3 PCs that all suck on some level.  If want to play in the big leagues I have to have tools that support that. I have amazing cameras and now I need amazing work flow tools. I am not having much fun though.

To keep my spirits up I have been walking in the meadow and I have been painting again and it is what it is but I am very rusty and am doing many warm up exercises. I asked Liv what she thought about a couple of my pieces and she said “Well you used to be much better, but remember practice makes perfect Mommy, at least that’s what you have always told us”. I am going through the motions, but I really love the process. I have not painted a thing I feel excited about, but I feel excited I am painting. This is a change. I have neglected my need to nurture my artist with expectations that everything I create has to be sales worthy. Sometimes creating for me just needs to be a process of engaging with my creative side. This was a busy year for me and I let my self-care go and I let my work get way out of balance. So now I am trying to stay committed to keeping my brush wet even if it is crap I am painting.

Here are some of the images  I shot while the kids were sick. I  walked the dogs on the meadow a few times this week and they are always fun for me to shoot.  Life in the sick James house on the meadow in the Chester Lake Almanor basin is what I am calling this body of work.

cooking for sick kids, but they think its for them

This is what it looks like when I am cooking

Argus and dead yarrow

Kira shapera at sunset

So regal

Cows just off our fence at moonrise

waiting

she wants to be first

I have finished editing Ethan and Lauren’s Lake Almanor wedding. They had it outside on October 24th and the weather held beautifully for them. Lauren’s family is from Carmel and her dad is a fine art photographer. I loved her style and they way she is with her husband. They also have Ridgebacks, like we do and Ethan is a cop as Ian is.  It was a gorgeous day and the hit of the wedding for me, besides the stunning bride was the little man in his coattails and it was his 3rd birthday. Everywhere I turned he had me laughing. The cake was D E V I N E. I wanted another peice everytime I would see the photo of it.

They used

Gambonis Peninsula Grill  for catering which is one of the area Basins best!

Cakes Unleashed out of Greenville …she can compete on a global level…she’s that good.

Lauren and her family did everything else.

The Rings

A dress a coat

A Guest

A big day, A little boy and his dad

A girl and hers

A time and a place

A kiss with a promise

Some help

A moment to reflect

The Sky

Im outa here